The school knows we are exploring private schools and have been since last year. It is not something I can keep from them. The process involves requesting transcripts, teacher recommendations, sample work, etc., etc.
I wish we were able to keep it from the school somehow, at least until we got to a point of certainty — much like concealing a job search from your current employer. I worry that the school might hold it against us, or the children, somehow.
At the end of the PPT on Monday, my concerns seemed to play out before me. After all, I had presented ISEE exams as examples of DeDe's dramatically falling educational performance. The social worker told me she had asked DeDe if she wanted to go to private school and that DeDe seemed ambivalent about it — so they had discussed it. I can only imagine what a difficult position DeDe found herself in as she tried to answer such a direct question about this search process. And then of course, that's when the social worker suggested DeDe had sabotaged the test. The very next thing she asked me was, "So, what about private school? Have you made a decision?"
What she was very clearly implying with this statement posted as a question was that the school would not begin to consider testing for my daughter because she knew we were considering private schools.
"We don't know. I haven't even heard from the school, yet," I replied.
"Well, because we're beginning counseling the children for the transition to the Middle School. It'd be good to know if she's going."
The social workers manner always seems abrasive to me, perhaps because she seems so much more concerned about costs and expenses than she does my children. And once again, she seemed to be afronted that I could suggest the school spend such time, resources and money on my daughter if she were not going to stay in the public school system. That any investment in her was at best risky and most probably...a waste.
Once again, as it has so often, it seemed that my open search for alternatives, my inquiries, in our public school setting, would be held against me and my children.